Get LOST

 

My son Nash is 14, going on 15. Not yet a full blown teenager, but certainly no longer a kid. For lack of a better term, I like to consider this stage, the “First Trimester” of his Teenage Years.

 

As such, all the warning signs have made their appearance:

 

Interest in girls – [Check]

Acne – [Check]

Moodiness – [Discount Double Check]

 

The first two items on this list are being handled; the first by the expert tutelage of his father, and the second by the dermatologist. The 3rd item however, is the one truly giving me fits...

 

This weekend’s Mammoth Trip is a pretty good example of this: Nash is never rude, mean, or disrespectful, but he will often enter into what I call, “Full Zombie Mode”. Glassy eyes. Constantly furrowed brows. A mumbling monotone voice. And exudes about as much enthusiasm as a wet dishrag or a pair of Dockers khakis.

 

Saturday morning was especially tough for me. Nash woke up in “Full Zombie Mode” and continued to be Walking Dead for much of the day. Taking his cue, I in turn, morphed into a lovely version of the “Overbearing, Overly-Critical Father”. Suffice to say, portions of that day were NOT fun. For either of us...

 

As a Dad, is it my responsibility to correct and guide my kid on how to act and how to behave? Sure it is...

 

But I make sure that those corrections, and those discussions, are NEVER AT THE EXPENSE OF THE RELATIONSHIP.

 

I will ALWAYS put the relationship with my son FIRST AND FOREMOST over any amount of instruction, correction, guidance, or any other nonsense we parents think is important.

 

Nash eventually came around. And he repeatedly tried reaching out to me with tiny white flags. But I wasn’t ready. I was still too frustrated. And because of my own stubbornness, I definitely kept Nash in the “Hurt Locker” for far too long…

 

Later that day, when we had a quiet moment, I went to Nash. And apologized… I said many of the things that I described above. How OUR RELATIONSHIP meant way more to me than “his behavior”. And that I never wanted anything to come between him and I. But even before that… I led the whole encounter with a warm embrace and a “I love you”.

 

Things are good between Nash and I. I love the relationship we have. But I also don’t take that for granted...

 

"So Kyle. What’s with the picture of the LOST DVDs?"

 

Good question... As a parent, I’m always looking for activities that my kids and I can do TOGETHER. Things we can sink our teeth into and can enjoy equally. A great way to do this, is by sharing your individual interests with your children. That’s something that I’ve done with my kids for all their lives.

 

Case in point; my kids have all read my original copies of Harry Potter and assorted fantasy novels. They still re-read all my old comic books, and going to the Comic Shop has turned into a “Wong Thing”. We all love Anime Movie Night, musicals, and playing old school 8-Bit 2D video games. We watch some TV together but that's not a thing yet...

 

Which brings me to “LOST”. LOST is one of my all time favorite TV shows. And I kinda miss it... So, I thought, “How cool would it be to re-watch the series of LOST?” And then I thought, “How cool would it be to re-watch LOST with my son Nash and introduce to him the mysteries of The Island?”

 

This not merely a “Parent” thing. I’m genuinely excited to dive back into this world and bring my son along for the ride! I can’t wait for the discussions that will surely ensue. “Dad, what is the light coming from the hatch?” “What happens if he stops pushing the button?”

 

My relationship with Nash will continue to evolve over time. I know that. But for now, Nash and I are going to get “LOST”. And I’m sure our relationship will be all the better for it…

Ukelele for McKenna

 

My kids don’t ask for a lot. They rarely pester me for the “latest and greatest” anything… And from my side as a parent, I rarely if ever, force my kids to do anything they really don’t wanna do. Sure, earlier on, I exposed them to all sorts of ball sports and activities, but never for more than 1 season if they did not wish to continue of their own volition…

And while I’ve never been out rightly criticized for my laisses faire attitude toward my kids, I’ve certainly received... the occasional “eye roll” from various parents over the years.

But as more and more time passed, even I, began to question this “free-range” approach to raising my children. Up till a few years ago, I had not yet seen my kids develop their own individual interests or passions as quickly as I had hoped. At this point, I had to take a hard look at the culture I was creating. I was forced to consider that the approach I was taking as a parent, was simply NOT working…

Fast Forward to today, and I can happily say that these last 2 years or so, have been the “funnest” for me as a parent.

Without prodding and without warning, my kids’ identity and interests have slowly begun to manifest. I never thought of my kids as vocal “Choir” kids. But here we are, with 2 soloists at the last winter concert. I’ve always had a love of musical theatre. But to be able to pass that down to my kids, and then to have the opportunity to watch them act and sing on stage warms my soul way more than chicken soup ever could.

Just last week, McKenna asked me for something. And she NEVER asks me for anything…
The girl wants to learn to play Ukelele. I want to jump through my skin, but I keep my innards in place and say to her calmly, “Research it, figure out if this is something you really wanna do, and how much it might cost.” I had already silently clicked “Buy It Now” in my head, but I couldn’t let her know that… ;) By the end of that same day, she had already learned how to tune the instrument, watched several beginner lessons online, and prepared an information packet for me. For those who haven’t met her, McKenna is a small honey badger when she sinks her teeth into something…

That night, McKenna presents the information she’s gathered and makes her argument (like that was even needed). She directs me to a Ukelele on Amazon and says “I like this one, but I don't want to spend too much money.” Yup... My daughter is indeed Chinese. ;) I then take that information, throw it out, and of course buy her the better model twice that amount, because that is my right as her daddy…

The Ukelele arrived via UPS today at noon. McKenna is nowhere to be seen. She only comes out of her room occasionally to eat and go to the bathroom. With strumming and humming, coming from down the hall, I am a Happy Dad...