102

This is Jenny. Jenny has been my tailor for over a decade. In this pic, we're all smiles and Jenny is jokingly letting me know how she feels about me with her little sign over her head! :) But just last week, the air between us wasn't that friendly. And much of that is on me. I need to be better. And I will be. Here's the story:

Last week, I went to see Jenny to have some pants altered. Total cost? 102 dollars... I distinctly remember placing a 100 dollar bill on the counter and retrieving another 2 bucks from my car to complete the transaction. However, as you might have guessed, upon my return for pick-up, Jenny was fairly adamant that I hadn't paid and the receipt she showed me also indicated that I had not yet paid.

But I know I did.

Here's where things go south for me and where I don't like how I handled things… From there, I proceeded to plead my case assuring Jenny that I did indeed pay. Without going too far into the details, Jenny accepted my explanation and let me go with the pants in hand. However, I couldn’t shake the uncertainty in the air and in her eyes.

In my life, I live by a couple of principles. Here's 2 of them:

*Being right is overrated. What matters is how you make the other person feel

*Never let money get in the way of doing the right thing

Even though I was convinced in my mind that I was “right”, I don’t like that my priority during the initial exchange was “vindication” and not “grace”. All my efforts that day were geared towards being right without truly considering how Jenny felt.

As for the money… 102 dollars to me, means very little. That amount of cash will not affect my life in any significant way. However, to a seamstress who owns her little shop on the corner, 100 bucks means a lot. And I lost sight of that.

I remember calling my son Nash for advice. And together, we both agreed upon a course of action. So yesterday, I walked into Jenny’s Tailoring with an envelope in hand. Jenny and I immediately recapped our last transaction and how that all went down. I am now 100% sure that I paid in full from the beginning, with Jenny agreeing with me. But regardless of fault, I apologized for how I acted. Then I handed Jenny an envelope wishing her a Merry Christmas and exactly 102 dollars…

If you’re keeping score, this is an extra 102 dollars than I needed to pay. But that’s not what’s important here. I want Jenny to feel seen, heard, valued, and given the benefit of the doubt. I didn’t do that the first time, but I’m rectifying that now.

Jenny and I are back on good terms as evidenced by the picture. 102 dollars reinstated my good standing in the relationship. 102 dollars earned me a smile from Jenny and assured her that her word is as good as mine regardless of who’s right. 102 dollars solidified years of continued service with a smile. And a measly 102 dollars brought me a little self realization; that as a human, I’m still growing and need to keep my eyes towards improving every day.

Today is a good day.

And my pants fit spectacularly…

66

For today, let me share with you this one pic and the quick story of "66".

Yesterday, Lily and I were graciously offered a pair of tickets to the USC Football game vs Nevada, of which we happily accepted!

Getting to the Coliseum is always an adventure. So, we took my friend's advice and parked further away, then taking the Metro the rest of the way into the stadium.

Once parked, Lily and I were walking to the metro station when I saw Lily bend down and pick something off the ground. She immediately turns to me and says "Did you drop your money?"

I say "No".

Then she gets paranoid and checks to see that it's not her money that fell out of her purse. It wasn't...

Realizing that this was "found money", we just stood there for a few minutes waiting for the previous owner to show. But no one ever did.

As the clock ticked nearer towards game time, we had no choice but to leave.

And I guess this is the difference between Lily and I: I would have definitely counted the money right then and there! But she interestingly never did. I guess I'm way more Chinese than she is... 🤪

We arrive to the stadium on time to watch the Trojans secure a convincing victory. But like so many jaded Angelenos, we left midway into the 4th quarter to beat the traffic, totally unaware of the final score.

Once home, I flipped on Sportscenter to catch the highlights and final score of the game.

USC 66 Nevada 14

Then I ask Lily, "Hey, did you count the money yet?" And she says "Oh yeah, I forgot!" So she pulls it out the wad from her back pocket. And in an excruciatingly slow manner, she counts the money, and then counts it again.

"66 dollars" she exclaims.

I immediately hit the floor!!! 66 bucks is already a large number, but now I'm "roll on the floor" laughing!!!

"What is so funny?" Lily asks.

"Do you know how many points USC scored today?"

She indicated that she didn't.

"USC scored exactly 66 points in the game today! Just like the exact amount (66 dollars) you picked up on the way to the game!!! Is that not crazy?" 💵🤯

And that's my story... #66

Prom Date

As most of you know, I try to tell stories about my life as best I can, but I'm so so behind. So, let me shoot you a quick story from last month before the memory fades...

It's prom season. And Facebook is suddenly littered with pictures of high schoolers in tuxedos and pretty dresses. I could post the same. I have the standard group prom shots in my camera roll. But I'm weird. And I'm choosing to share this one lone picture. Here's the story:

This year, McKenna's prom was located in Anaheim, directly across the street from Downtown Disney. On the drive down, I casually mentioned to the girls that Downtown Disney was literally across the street, and that it might be fun for them to walk over in full Prom Regalia. McKenna immediately latches onto the idea saying, "Yup. Great idea! We'll probably do that!"

So, in my mind, if the prom ends at 11, and the girls enjoy an hour or so of Disney Magic, I can now expect to get a text for pick-up around midnight. But that's not what happens...

It's 10:30 PM when my phone buzzes. It's McKenna. "Pick me up" she says. "I want to beat the rush outta here."

This is not a good sign. She wants to leave prom early.

"You're not going over to Downtown Disney with friends?" I ask gently.

"Yeah, we are!"

I am now confused, "OK. I anticipated picking you up at midnight after y'all were done Disney-ing."

"WHY??? Are you not coming with us???" McKenna exclaimed over text.

Silence from the confused dad.

"Well? Are you coming???" McKenna pressed.

"Yup, I'm on the way. Be right there." I stuttered without truly realizing what was happening...

Let me better explain the situation: Once I mentioned the idea of Downtown Disney, McKenna automatically assumed that I would be accompanying them. That I would of course be included in tonight's activity. As if walking around Downtown Disney with your dad on Prom Night was completely normal teenage daughter behavior.

I mean... This was McKenna's first high school prom experience. And on a night to make lifetime memories, my daughter CHOSE to spend her evening walking the promenade in a glittering prom dress next to dear old dad in a random t-shirt? My mind simply boggles...

I guess today is Father's Day. And I didn't mean this post to be a Father's Day post really. But as I reflect on my kids and McKenna specifically, my Father's Day Gift has already been received. For McKenna to see me equally as a friend, as well as a father, is absolutely enough for me. I actually never went to prom back in high school, and I never had any memories of my own to look back upon. But now, thanks to my daughter, I have enduring magical memories of prom... Thank You McKenna. 🥰

McKenna In Paris

 

As we speak, McKenna is in Paris... Yeah, I know. I hate her too. 😁

For this year's spring break, McKenna is on a trip with her high school choir to perform a series of vocal concerts throughout Paris and surrounding areas. But as of a few months ago, McKenna had not really traveled alone, much less owned a passport or traveled internationally.

Did we consider jetting off to Paris to accompany our daughter???

Of course we did! But upon taking a step back, we really wanted this trip to be an opportunity for McKenna to stretch out and live life without “Helicopter Parents."

The first morning arrived in France with a hummingbird gently tapping at McKenna’s hotel window. It’s a beautiful day out, but I receive a text from McKenna saying that she’s “kinda lonely right now.” Then my phone rings. It's McKenna... We chat for a few minutes, but I end our pep talk with this little bit of advice, “McKenna. Today and throughout this trip. Be adventurous. Engage those around you. Look for opportunities. And when an opportunity presents itself, TAKE IT! If you do this, you will indeed have the Best Trip Ever!!!”

In response, I got the patented teenage daughter response, “Okay Dad.”

Hours later, Lily and I receive this text, “R U guys up? I had a fun day. I want to tell you!”

McKenna proceeded to tell us multiple stories about her “fun day”, but the one story that really struck me was this one:

After spending the morning touring Chateau De Fontainebleau, the choir kids were given permission to explore the local Farmer’s Market. While all the other students split off into their respective friend groups in search of souvenirs, trinkets, and snacky foods, McKenna and her friend Alex quietly slipped away. As they strolled the cobblestoned streets together, they stumbled across a local group of tiny children doing some sort of craft activity on the street corner.

Alex was oblivious and walked right on by, but McKenna wasn't having it! That's when she clutched his arm with a gleam in her eye and said, “Alex, I have a great idea! Let’s join the group of tiny children and make awesome crafts!”

“Are you serious?” Alex exclaimed.

“Yup! Let’s go!”

And so they did…

Saying “Hello” and meeting the teacher’s eyes as they approached the table, McKenna grabbed a crafting sheet and pointed to herself in hopes that the teacher would understand that they would like to join in on the fun! The teacher smiled and beckoned the two high school juniors to join the group of tiny children. As McKenna began crafting away on her bona fide masterpiece, she befriends a 5 year old girl sitting next to her. The little girl knows no English, and McKenna knows no French. But through energetic pantomiming, they become fast friends…

After McKenna and Alex were finished with their masterpieces, they stood up to leave when the little girl grabbed McKenna's hand. The little girl then placed a brightly colored chocolate egg into her hand, presumably because tomorrow is Easter! At first, McKenna was unsure if the 5 year old was giving or just showing her the candy egg. But through more energetic pantomiming, McKenna finally came to understand that this chocolate egg was the little girl’s parting gift to her newfound friend…

These are the kinds of priceless stories you get from traveling abroad and letting your kids fly on their own. And I didn’t even tell you the story of how McKenna and Alex walked into a florist shop solely to pet two cute dogs, but walked out with bouquets of flowers to give to their teacher and tour guides in appreciation for their efforts.

Today was an Epic Day One on this episode of "McKenna In Paris." And I can only imagine what will happen on Day 2!!!

Tales from Walla Walla #3

In previous installments of “Tales from Walla Walla”, we got to meet the friendly waitress who gave me handwritten restaurant recommendations, the kindly gentleman who gifted us two bags of coffee, and now here’s the story of the “Gracious Nurse”.

Recently, my son Nash had been having issues with pain in his right eye. Eventually, the pain got severe enough that he needed to head to Urgent Care. The nearest Urgent Care is about 5 miles away from the Whitman campus; a walk-able distance, but still challenging with only one good working eye.

In somewhat of an ordeal of public trolleys and getting disoriented, Nash was able to bring himself to Urgent Care by 2 PM. There, he met Anna, the front desk nurse who checked him in. Anna was friendly, but then regrettably informed Nash that the doctors on duty would not be able to see him till sometime after 5 PM.

Nash just shrugged… as he so often does.

By the time Nash was done with his doctor’s visit, it was after 6 PM, dark out, and the trolleys were no longer running... Realizing the situation he was in, and seeing - with his one good eye - that it was indeed “dark out”,

Nash just shrugged… as he so often does.

That’s when Anna called out to him, “Hey, how’d it go? But more importantly, how are you getting back to your dorm?”

Nash quickly turned back and answered “Well, there’s not much the doctor said other than I need to rest my eyes as much as I can. And as for getting back, I’m just gonna have to walk in the dark I guess. It’s OK. I have one good eye after all!”

“No, that won’t do… Is it alright if I give you a lift back to the dorms? My shift is over now, and you’re on the way home.”

“Really???" Nash replied in astonishment. “You’d give me, a complete stranger, a ride home?”

“Ha! You’re not a stranger Nash. Strange maybe… But not a stranger!”

And on those terms, Nash gratefully accepted Anna’s graciousness in giving him a ride home. Clearly, Anna saw the situation. A freshman in college who wasn’t from around here, walking home in the dark with apparent eye issues. As this student’s parent, I can’t thank Anna enough for stepping up and being the type of human I’ve come to expect from Walla Walla residents.

According to Nash, the ride home was incredibly quick by car. And I guess that’s true in comparison to his ordeal in getting there in the first place. By the time they rolled up to Lyman House, Nash thanked Anna profusely and told her that my dad will probably write a blog post about this encounter… And that prediction has come true. 🙂

First Man

So, what I have for you today is this video of my daughter McKenna singing "First Man" by Camila Cabello at last night's choir concert.

Most of you know that I'm usually a man of many many words. But today, I have none...

But for an event like this to render me speechless is rare. And I will cherish this rare gift from my daughter for the rest of my life... ❤️✌️

Use this link to watch the video!

https://youtu.be/XjnsOFP0oy8

Slightly Off-Center

I’m not sure when McKenna and I started taking selfies together. I used to hate selfies. But over the years, these little selfie moments would become part of the “glue” that helped cement our Father/Daughter relationship.

McKenna and I might try to take a selfie when we’re out somewhere fun or exciting. Or we might snap a pic on special occasions like a birthday. But my uber-favorite selfie opportunities happen whenever we’re planning to go out someplace, and we randomly end up wearing the same color! Or our outfits match! I love it when that happens!!!

But truth be told, those opportunities are not as random as they seem. Because I’m the dorkiest dad in the world, I’ll sometimes wait to see what McKenna has on for the day, and then choose my outfit accordingly. 😁 Attempting to match your daughter’s style is indeed super dorky, but I am “That Dad” and I enjoy it. Oftentimes, my wife Lily will see that both McKenna and I are wearing matching outfits for our Brunch Date. And then she will let out a big “sigh”, go back into the bedroom, and come out “matching” by the time we leave! 😀

McKenna isn’t Nash. And she certainly isn’t Evan. McKenna has her own unique interests and personality. And because of those differences, I find that I often relate to McKenna in a much different way than I do with my other two boys.

I tend to “talk a lot” with my boys… We talk about life, struggles, and stuff we wanna do in the future. But not so much with McKenna. McKenna is an independent, strong-willed rock star. That girl is more than capable of handling most things on her own. And she rarely seeks my advice.

But as a father, her “independence” doesn’t absolve me of my responsibility to make connections and build bridges with my daughter. Just because we don’t sit down to “talk”, doesn’t mean that we can’t have a close relationship. I’m always paying attention to McKenna. I’m paying attention to her likes, dislikes, and things that light her up. All of these individual pieces can work as “connections” between us. Over the years, I’ve loved and watched over this girl. And in that same time span, I’ve figured out the best ways I can love her, in the ways she wants to be loved…

Here’s a few examples of the found connections I have with my daughter:

Selfies

Matching outfits

PASTA! And our never ending search to find the Best Spaghetti Bolognese in Los Angeles

Watching “Singles Inferno” together, both Season 1 and 2

Watching our favorite Anime (Haikyu, Bofuri, etc)

Sugar! 

Bearology

Anything that tastes like Strawberry! - yogurt drinks, ice cream, desserts

Being McKenna’s personal shopper - I love helping her pick out outfits, bringing her different sizes in the dressing room, providing my expertise, and my credit card. ;)

Play time with our cat Tess

Cute Cat Videos

CHIPOTLE!!! McKenna can eat at Chipotle every day if you let her!

Our shared love for musical theatre and seeing Broadway Shows!

Trying to learn K-Pop Dance Routines with her while failing badly

Tokidoki

Chelsea Cutler concerts

Anything “kawaii”

Disneyland and other theme parks

Playing the “I wonder what mood McKenna is in?” is always a fun game!

This list can easily grow double the size, but this list is good enough to represent McKenna’s “love language”. The items listed, is how she knows that we love her. And how we as parents, can best meet her needs.

McKenna and I were having a brief conversation about “hairstyles” this morning as we drove to school. I told her that I had the crazy notion to part my hair on the opposite side this morning! I then asked her if she ever considered changing the part in her hair. She said, “No, my hairline is where it is… Slightly Off-Center”. 

I just had to laugh!!! “That’s a perfect metaphor for life McKenna! YOU AND I are both Wongs! And together, we will forever be… Slightly Off-Center. 🙂