Slightly Off-Center

I’m not sure when McKenna and I started taking selfies together. I used to hate selfies. But over the years, these little selfie moments would become part of the “glue” that helped cement our Father/Daughter relationship.

McKenna and I might try to take a selfie when we’re out somewhere fun or exciting. Or we might snap a pic on special occasions like a birthday. But my uber-favorite selfie opportunities happen whenever we’re planning to go out someplace, and we randomly end up wearing the same color! Or our outfits match! I love it when that happens!!!

But truth be told, those opportunities are not as random as they seem. Because I’m the dorkiest dad in the world, I’ll sometimes wait to see what McKenna has on for the day, and then choose my outfit accordingly. 😁 Attempting to match your daughter’s style is indeed super dorky, but I am “That Dad” and I enjoy it. Oftentimes, my wife Lily will see that both McKenna and I are wearing matching outfits for our Brunch Date. And then she will let out a big “sigh”, go back into the bedroom, and come out “matching” by the time we leave! 😀

McKenna isn’t Nash. And she certainly isn’t Evan. McKenna has her own unique interests and personality. And because of those differences, I find that I often relate to McKenna in a much different way than I do with my other two boys.

I tend to “talk a lot” with my boys… We talk about life, struggles, and stuff we wanna do in the future. But not so much with McKenna. McKenna is an independent, strong-willed rock star. That girl is more than capable of handling most things on her own. And she rarely seeks my advice.

But as a father, her “independence” doesn’t absolve me of my responsibility to make connections and build bridges with my daughter. Just because we don’t sit down to “talk”, doesn’t mean that we can’t have a close relationship. I’m always paying attention to McKenna. I’m paying attention to her likes, dislikes, and things that light her up. All of these individual pieces can work as “connections” between us. Over the years, I’ve loved and watched over this girl. And in that same time span, I’ve figured out the best ways I can love her, in the ways she wants to be loved…

Here’s a few examples of the found connections I have with my daughter:

Selfies

Matching outfits

PASTA! And our never ending search to find the Best Spaghetti Bolognese in Los Angeles

Watching “Singles Inferno” together, both Season 1 and 2

Watching our favorite Anime (Haikyu, Bofuri, etc)

Sugar! 

Bearology

Anything that tastes like Strawberry! - yogurt drinks, ice cream, desserts

Being McKenna’s personal shopper - I love helping her pick out outfits, bringing her different sizes in the dressing room, providing my expertise, and my credit card. ;)

Play time with our cat Tess

Cute Cat Videos

CHIPOTLE!!! McKenna can eat at Chipotle every day if you let her!

Our shared love for musical theatre and seeing Broadway Shows!

Trying to learn K-Pop Dance Routines with her while failing badly

Tokidoki

Chelsea Cutler concerts

Anything “kawaii”

Disneyland and other theme parks

Playing the “I wonder what mood McKenna is in?” is always a fun game!

This list can easily grow double the size, but this list is good enough to represent McKenna’s “love language”. The items listed, is how she knows that we love her. And how we as parents, can best meet her needs.

McKenna and I were having a brief conversation about “hairstyles” this morning as we drove to school. I told her that I had the crazy notion to part my hair on the opposite side this morning! I then asked her if she ever considered changing the part in her hair. She said, “No, my hairline is where it is… Slightly Off-Center”. 

I just had to laugh!!! “That’s a perfect metaphor for life McKenna! YOU AND I are both Wongs! And together, we will forever be… Slightly Off-Center. 🙂

Birds and the Bees

Yesterday, in an unexpected turn of events, I found myself giving the "birds and the bees" talk for the third time in my life.

Here's the story: A friend of mine (a single divorced mom) called me up to see if I could help her out. I said "Sure! What's up?" And then she tells me her dilemma...

The mom felt like she needed to have the "birds and bees" talk with her son, but the son's father is absent at best and totally unreliable at worst. Mom is willing to do the talk, but the son is only open to having this conversation with a guy. And fortunately, I fit that bill!!! 😁✌️

The day comes, and Mom drops off her son with me at the park. I re-introduce myself, and he and I walk laps around the park to talk. I start pontificating about the finer points in life when the clouds form and a light drizzle begins to fall. Then the rain starts to come down in full blown sheets! It is a virtual waterfall by the time we finish!!! As we run back to the car, he and I are dripping wet from head to toe! But we're also laughing and smiling from our sorry soggy state. During our 90 minute stroll, we talked about life, we talked about school, we talked about friends, we talked about sex, and we talked about the best ways to seize his future... I did the majority of the talking as expected, but he was as engaged a pre-teen boy could have been in this circumstance. Imagine as a teen boy being forced to have a sex talk with a adult you don't even know!!! The kid did so great. He was respectful, asked questions, and listened to all my nonsense with zero attitude.

I am grateful for the opportunity and honored to be a part of such a pivotal moment in a young man's development. This fine young man is going to be really somethin' when he grows up. This I'm sure of.

God places you in odd positions sometimes. And you can't always predict what will come your way. Hopefully, my oddball experiences will be able to help shape this young man's life and experiences going forward. That's the goal anyways...

So, I just got off the phone with the mom about an hour ago. And now, she's wondering if I can meet with her son every few months or so. I said "Sure, but only if that's what your son really wants. You better ask him." She replied, "I did ask him! He said he'd like that!!!" 🤯

Wow!!! Who knew??? I guess sometimes pre-teen boys can surprise you! And that's the end of my story. 😁✌️