Birds and the Bees

Yesterday, in an unexpected turn of events, I found myself giving the "birds and the bees" talk for the third time in my life.

Here's the story: A friend of mine (a single divorced mom) called me up to see if I could help her out. I said "Sure! What's up?" And then she tells me her dilemma...

The mom felt like she needed to have the "birds and bees" talk with her son, but the son's father is absent at best and totally unreliable at worst. Mom is willing to do the talk, but the son is only open to having this conversation with a guy. And fortunately, I fit that bill!!! 😁✌️

The day comes, and Mom drops off her son with me at the park. I re-introduce myself, and he and I walk laps around the park to talk. I start pontificating about the finer points in life when the clouds form and a light drizzle begins to fall. Then the rain starts to come down in full blown sheets! It is a virtual waterfall by the time we finish!!! As we run back to the car, he and I are dripping wet from head to toe! But we're also laughing and smiling from our sorry soggy state. During our 90 minute stroll, we talked about life, we talked about school, we talked about friends, we talked about sex, and we talked about the best ways to seize his future... I did the majority of the talking as expected, but he was as engaged a pre-teen boy could have been in this circumstance. Imagine as a teen boy being forced to have a sex talk with a adult you don't even know!!! The kid did so great. He was respectful, asked questions, and listened to all my nonsense with zero attitude.

I am grateful for the opportunity and honored to be a part of such a pivotal moment in a young man's development. This fine young man is going to be really somethin' when he grows up. This I'm sure of.

God places you in odd positions sometimes. And you can't always predict what will come your way. Hopefully, my oddball experiences will be able to help shape this young man's life and experiences going forward. That's the goal anyways...

So, I just got off the phone with the mom about an hour ago. And now, she's wondering if I can meet with her son every few months or so. I said "Sure, but only if that's what your son really wants. You better ask him." She replied, "I did ask him! He said he'd like that!!!" 🤯

Wow!!! Who knew??? I guess sometimes pre-teen boys can surprise you! And that's the end of my story. 😁✌️

Nash Stories Volume #48

As an Asian Parent, I’m not sure if I should be admitting this… But, I could honestly care less if any of my kids become Doctors, Lawyers, or whatever prestigious profession you can name.

My only goal ever as a parent was to raise good human beings. Humans who are kind, respectful, and conscious of the world and community that surrounds them. So, when I receive a text like the one I received today, it gives me reassurance that my oldest kid is well on his way towards that goal.

So, here’s the story:

Earlier today, I got a text from a mom of one of Nash’s friends and fellow classmates. The text read,

“Kyle and Lily, you have raised an amazing human. Thank You! My daughter Samantha is sick and Nash brought her chicken soup tonight!”

I had no idea that Nash had done this, so I called him up to find out the details.

“So, Samantha is sick?” I asked.

“Yeah, she’s feeling pretty terrible. We have a project due tomorrow, but she called to tell me that she has a bad cold and won’t be in class. Then I saw the chicken soup we bought at Walmart and thought, when you have a cold, you eat chicken soup!”

“Ha! Exactly Nash! Chicken Soup is good for the soul. And for the common cold!” I replied.

“So, did you just give her the soup in the container?” I asked.

“No, I went over to her dorm building, heated up the soup in the kitchen, and brought it up to her room nice and hot! Oh, and I gave her Skittles too... Cuz if you're gonna be kooked up in your room for a long time, you need Skittles!”

"Ha! I can’t argue that kind of logic! I mean, what sickness can withstand the mighty healing effects of Chicken Soup and Skittles??? I’m proud of you today Nash. Good job!”

“Thanks Dad”.

Thus ending our little story…

Look, I know this is a silly little nothing story of small kindness. But, it is my belief that more often than not, your true character is revealed through your smallest actions, not your biggest. "Who you are as a person" is better determined by the humble kindnesses of your heart, and not the grand gestures from your hands.

Nash is currently a freshman at Whitman College. And he currently has no idea what he wants to do in life or what his major might be. But here’s what I do know:

That dorky kid I sent off to college did well today. He paid attention. He was intentional. He not only saw others, he met their needs with the meager resources he had. He was kind. He was thoughtful. He brought Skittles.

Today, Nash proved that he just might be a good human (in training anyway). 😁✌️

Nash Stories Volume #47

As a doting parent, it’s always a good day whenever your kid calls home from college. So, today, Nash calls me up and says “Dad, I ended up in a situation today, and I wanted to ask your opinion to see if I handled it the right way.” I say “Sure Nash. Shoot…”

Nash goes on to tell me that he was having a conversation with a friend (let’s just call him Billy), when Billy breaks down and starts sobbing inconsolably. Billy then describes to Nash the situation and why he’s crying…

And this is the reason for the phone call and Nash’s explanation to me, “Dad, at first, I didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say. I had no answers. No advice to give… Then, I remembered this from our talks. You’ve always told me to ‘Just Listen. Just Be There.' So that’s what I did.”

Nash continues explaining, “I didn’t tell him that ‘I understand’ or offer some made up advice. And I didn’t tell him a similar story that I had experienced one time... I just sat there and listened to him talk. I told him that I am there for him. And will continue to be there for him if he wants to talk further.”

“So Dad. Did I do OK? Maybe I should have done more.”

At this point, I couldn’t be prouder of my son... I said “Nash, you get an A+. There is no more that you could have reasonably done. In fact, you handled it better than 90 percent of full grown adults would have. Most adults would have started pontificating with lame advice or relate a similar story that shifts the focus onto them and not the person in need. But you played it perfectly. You quickly realized that you could not fix their situation, and that the best thing you could do for them is to “Just Listen. Just Be There. And Be A Friend”

“Dude. A+... You were right there for a friend in need. And that person is the better for it. I could have done No Better than what you did today. Well done Nash. Well done...”

Nash is currently 2 months into his freshman year at Whitman College. And from the looks of it, he seems to be doing just fine…

Brand New Friend

As some of you know, I love making new friends. This is my new friend Geidy. It's pronounced "Heidi," but it's actually spelled G-E-I-D-Y. 👍

Here's the story: I'm currently chilling in the park waiting for my car to be serviced. There are 3 picnic tables to choose where I'm at, but Geidy plops right down at my table with me! 😁

There is no doubt in my mind that Geidy wants to chat. So, I lob in a remark about the weather and off to the races we go!!! 🤣 Geidy tells me that she walks her grandson Joshua to and from school every day, even when it's a 100+ degrees like it is today! Geidy is 73! I tell her that she looks happy and healthy. And she goes on to tell me how many broken bones she's had in both arms, leg and lower back. She's had her pancreas and spleen removed, she has osteoporosis and other diagnoses she could only explain in Spanish, as I nod emphatically while pretending I understand what she's saying! 😆

Geidy says, "Do you know San Marino?" I say "Of course! I live there!" She goes on to tell me that she has been babysitting San Marino kids for 35 years as her job. I absolutely bet that I know some of the kids that went through Geidy's caring hands. Geidy tells me that she loves kids. But she needn't say a word. That much was apparent within the first 5 seconds of our conversation.

Geidy has a smile that warms any room, house, or playground. I felt at ease immediately. Geidy talked a lot... But she also listened and cared about what I had to say too.

Geidy comes to this park every day. And this park is well within Onewheel range. I think I'll have another date with my friend Geidy soon. I want to hear about her 3 other grandchildren from Murietta and Sarasota Florida.

This is not a Kyle story. This is a "Geidy Story" because Geidy took the time out of her day to greet ME, and not the other way around. To have a stranger walk up and greet ME, blesses my heart and makes me feel seen.

"Thank You Geidy!" I hope to see your smile again soon... ❤️

Anybody Else?

Is this anybody else?

Over the last 2 years or so, I feel like I’ve lost myself a little bit. Oh, I’m still ME, but this current version of ME is… Not as happy. Not as focused. Not as passionate. Not as gracious. 

There’s no question that Covid-19 has changed our world as we all huddled into corners to save ourselves. But there’s also no question that in that same span of 2 years, WE ourselves have significantly changed.

I didn’t quite realize it at first. I mistook my struggles for malaise or “the blahs”. I lived out my “Gray-ish World” where food didn’t taste quite as tasty. Where thrills weren’t quite as thrilling. And vanilla tasted like.  Well, Vanilla… In addition, I rarely dressed up in my finer clothes. What reason was there for me to do that??? And to add further insult, I had picked up the dreaded "Quarantine 15” pounds that so many of us did during Covid. To put it simply, the Kyle staring back at me in the mirror, was still ME, but lacking in most every way…

Which brings me to today. Today, I’m on the road to recovery, but also self discovery. I’m actively on the lookout for my next adventure and mountain to climb. The spirit of complacency has worn out its welcome. The Quarantine 15 has now left the building and won’t be returning anytime soon. Going forward, I have a new health and workout plan to keep me on track. I have friends and a good support system that encourages me daily towards brighter days.

Wherever you find yourself, there is never a time that is deemed “too late”. Never a point in your journey that is too far to come back from. The answers to life are always much simpler than we make them out to be. If you don’t like where you’re at, simply “Stop what you’re doing. Breathe. And take stock.” Figure out where you are. Where you want to be. And what matters to you most. Start there. With any luck, some amount of clarity will eventually find you.

If you find yourself feeling “stuck” or don’t recognize the person staring back at you, please feel free to DM me if you would like to chat. I’m here for it. I’m here for anyone looking to make a change and move in a positive direction. Life is better in community y’all. And like Dear Evan Hansen said, “We are not alone…”

Making A Choice

 

In my experience, I’ve learned that happiness and gratefulness is very often a choice you can make. Should you of course, Make That Choice… But I’m not here to convince you of that, I’m just here to tell stories. So, this is the story of my day today, where everything that could go wrong, seemingly does... But by the end of the story, I find myself feeling a semblance of Happy. I find myself Grateful for my current circumstance. But as usual, I’m getting ahead of myself. If you care to read a long meandering story about my day today, Here ya go!

Today is Monday, the 8th of February. This morning, my alarm went off and I woke up to a gorgeous day waiting for me outside! My snowboards and other associated gear were all packed up last night for an early morning departure. The Destination? Mountain High Ski Resort in Wrightwood! Because of Covid Restrictions, I have barely snowboarded at all the last 2 seasons. *sad face emoji* So when the rare opportunity presented itself for me to ride today, I was incredibly eager to head to the mountain! 

The Mountain High Resort is about 1 hour+ from my home in San Marino. I had already driven an hour in my 2006 Honda Odyssey, and was about to head up the windy mountain roads when my car started to slow down on its own… Perplexed, I kept applying the gas pedal, but my efforts were only rewarded with “revving noises” and ZERO acceleration... Ugh! I pretty much knew what I was in for. I had been warned by my mechanic that my transmission might be on its last legs… But lucky for me, I was able to pull over to the side of the road safely, with more than enough room to park the car out of the way of oncoming traffic. I shudder to think about what would have happened if my car had died just 5 minutes later when I would have been on a windy narrow road with cross traffic on one side and a steep cliff on the other!!! *Gratefulness #1 logged: Safety

Once I determined that the car was indeed immobile, instead of cursing my circumstances, I made the active and conscious decision that despite this little setback, I was going to have a good day today. And that I would and could, enjoy my day going forward… With that decision firmly made in my mind, I called AAA to have my car towed.  After a brief time on hold, Laura at AAA Dispatch, got on the line to help me. “Hi, My name is Kyle Wong. I drive a very old Honda Odyssey. I’m stranded in the desert. I think I need a tow. Can you help me?” Laura chuckled. “Sure, I can help you. Where are you?” “I kinda have no idea to be honest. I see cactus, tumbleweeds, and an Old Wagon Wheel?” But Thank God for modern conveniences and being in cell service range, Google was able to inform me that I was on Hwy 138 by Ralston Rd.

"Kyle, I know you’re having a bad day, but I’m about to make it worse...”

“Ugh! Go ahead. Hit me with it,” I reply.

“Because of current Covid Protocols, we can definitely tow your car, but not YOU. Do you have anyone that can give you a ride?” I’m literally standing in the middle of a desert as vultures circle overhead as she asks this. Then Laura pauses and says, “I’m so sorry…”

But I stand resolved. Today’s events will not steal my joy. So, I buck up and say “No problem Laura. I totally get it. It’s not your fault. I’ll find a way home. Somehow. Don’t worry about me. I’m tougher than I look!” Laura laughs and says, “Thank You for your response. I’ve had nothing but Super Negative Reactions to that information all day and a lady just cursed me out on my last call because of this policy!” Laura went on to tell me a story about another customer who was so pissed off about the excessive charge to tow her car, that she deliberately went to the bank to get 40 dollars in coins to pay her bill!!!

Laura and I were finishing up our chat when she says to me, “Thanks for making me laugh. I needed that today.” I reply “Well, I’m gonna make you laugh a bit more in a minute. Can you also tell the Tow Truck Driver that I’m technically not wearing any pants?” Laura says “What???” And I explain to her that I was headed to the Mountain High to snowboard, but on the car ride up, I was only wearing “long johns” with the clear intent on changing into actual snowboard pants when I got to the mountain! Laura laughs again and says “I will tell the driver to be on the lookout for a 2006 Honda Odyssey and a guy with no pants. Is that correct?” I reply “Yup” and we both have a good laugh… Laura and I finish up our call with her telling me that I made her day today. And I feel good… *Gratefulness #2 logged: Making Laura’s Day

Enter James, the tow truck driver… James drives up in a flat-bed truck, and is very good natured from the start. I explain what’s wrong with the car. And then he quickly asks, “Where do you want it towed?” I tell him “Pasadena.” He stops mid-sentence and says, “You know that will be a 600 dollar tow ride right?” I exclaim “I know! But what am I going to do??? I’m in the middle of a desert and I don’t know a mechanic out here I can trust!” Then James says, “Well, I know a good mechanic not too far from here if you’ll trust me” Again, I’m in the desert and my options are limited. James seems like a good guy to me, so I say “OK. Take my car to your mechanic and we’ll go from there.” But that only solves half of my predicament. Because of the AAA Covid Protocol, I know I can’t ride in the truck with him to the repair shop. I’m now stuck in this desert alone. *sigh* But James takes one look at me standing amongst the tumbleweeds in my long johns and says “Come on man. Jump in. I’ll take both YOU and your car to the shop. It’s not far. We’ll both wear masks, it will be fine.” My heart leaps in gratitude! “Thank You James! I super appreciate it! Who knows how long I would have had to stand there if you didn’t give me a ride!" *Gratefulness #3 logged: Mercy Received

On the way there, I call my mechanic in Pasadena to try to get a price range on what a re-built transmission would cost. My mechanic tells me over the phone "About 3-5 Grand." Ugh!!! Well, it is what it is... Back to the story, James and I arrive at Pinon Hills Transmission pretty quick. I know for a fact we’ve driven farther than the 7 mile “Free Tow Range” per AAA’s policy, but James refuses payment. I thank him profusely and tell him to say “Hi” to his 2 kids for me. And I slyly hand him a very nice tip into his hand. He smiles and bids me farewell. *Gratefulness #4 logged: Kindness Received

Enter Ramon, the transmission specialist… Ramon knows transmissions. That much is certain from the minute he starts explaining what is going on with my car. “It needs to be re-built” he explains. Then the moment comes where he's gonna me what it'll cost. I prepare myself by thinking about that one Hallmark Movie where a stranded visitor gets hit with a GINORMOUS REPAIR BILL that leaves the visitor stuck in a small town for weeks! But that shocking moment never comes... Ramon says, “I can do it all for $2,200.”  I AM RELIEVED. This quote is well below what I expected to pay. And Ramon also assures me that the repair work will be covered by a warranty as well! Ramon is solid. I feel good about this. “DO IT” I tell him. *Gratefulness #5 logged: Unexpected Positive Outcomes

Now I need a ride home… I call my wife, but she’s at work in Beverly Hills. I phone a friend and that comes up empty too. I consider a very expensive Uber, when my wife Lily calls to remind me that my brother doesn’t work on Mondays! I call him up and BINGO! He’s totally free and willing to drive more than an hour away to come get me! I am saved!!! *Gratefulness #6 logged: Family Coming Through in a Pinch

Today’s events could very well be described as the "Worst Monday Ever." I didn’t get to go snowboarding. My car died. I could have very possibly spent 600 dollars to tow my car to Pasadena. Because of Covid Protocols, I could have been stranded in a desert for hours. The cost to fix my old minivan is still 2,200 dollars which is a lot of money in anyone’s book. I had to severely inconvenience a family member to come save me. And, I won’t have a car to drive for a week or more…

But then again, maybe I DO have a car!!! Long story short, I’ve been searching for a new car for months now. I had zeroed in on a Kia Telluride but could not find the exact model and color I was looking for. And I kind of had given up on the whole thing. But last weekend while I was randomly cruising CarGurus, a listing showed up for a Used Kia Telluride in the EXACT color and model I was looking for! And by Sunday afternoon the next day, I was driving away in that same car for thousands less than a Brand New Car! And could the timing of this purchase be any better??? *Gratefulness #7 logged: Serendipity

I began this post by stating that I believe that Happiness is a Choice. And I still believe that... And I also believe that by not letting the “little things” bog me down today, it led me to a series of Fortunate Events instead of “A Series of Misfortunate Events” as told by Lemony Snicket.

Life and Happiness is what you make it sometimes. Yes, there is a time and an occasion for sorrow. But for 90% of circumstances in my life, I CHOOSE to be Happy. I CHOOSE to make Lemonade. Am I a fool to think so naively? I may well be… But honestly, I’m OK with folly and foolishness. To my mind, “Folly” is way better than “Reality” anyways...

Meeting Kyle (A Onewheel Story)

 

Riding a Onewheel at night is just a different experience where you never really know what you're gonna get...

Tonight I was out riding in my local neighborhood when I run across this guy huddled into a doorstep. It's cold out tonight. I know cuz I'm rocking all kinds of snowboard gear to keep warm... I don't always stop to help the homeless. But today, I certainly had the means and the opportunity being that I live mere blocks from where this dude was sleeping. I ride past the guy at first, but immediately head home to find a warm blanket. I also grab a little cash and head back out to find him. He's in the same exact spot so I roll up and execute the smoothest heel lift stop you've ever seen... 😁 I call out to him saying "It's cold out tonight buddy. I have a blanket for you and some cash to get you by." He wakes up says "Thanks" but doesn't say much more than that. Feeling awkward, I bid him a good night, but left feeling dissatisfied. Surely I could do more...

I ride back home with thoughts of making him a warm meal, but then I spy a batch of fresh baked brownies my daughter recently made just sitting on the counter. With her permission, I grab the "still warm" brownies and once again head back out into the night. He's sitting up now as I roll up with a plate of baked treats in hand. But this time, he smiles when he sees me, and we immediately get to talking. I ask him his name and he says ironically, "My name is Kyle" and I just laugh out loud!!! "My name is Kyle too!" I explain. We talk for a bit, he explains his circumstance, and I just listen and help out where I can... After our chat, I once again bid him a good night, but this time I feel better. I feel satisfied...

I feel satisfied, not just because of the brownies, but because in our second exchange, I didn't just provide him charity. This time, I was able to give him his humanity. This time, we were able to meet and engage each other as people. It was the humanity I think he needed in that moment. But more importantly, it was the humanity I think I needed FOR ME in that same moment...