The post I'm not sure I want anyone to read...

I am now 43… These days I approach life very differently than when I was in my 30’s. In my younger days, I considered myself impervious to any health risk or injury that could or should come my way. While I have been lucky so far in that regard, I now take better care of myself and use every opportunity to better my existence. I have only one caveat. I refuse to swallow the “Dramatic Life Change” pill some people might take in my position. Working out and going to the gym has never been for me. I don’t get it, I don’t like it, and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t like me very much either. One day early in 2009, I woke up and I was heavier than I had ever been and I knew I had to make a change. I looked into various diets and workout programs, but none really spoke to me. Every commercial was yelling at me to “Take Charge of Your Life” and “Turn Your Life Around Right Now”.  When people yell at me or try to “Sell” me something, I instantly shut it down.  I’m not sure why, but I resisted the “Dramatic Life Change” methods of dieting and exercise with every fiber in my body.

So the status quo life continued on when one evening I was watching TV and a guy named Paul McKenna came on the "Telly". Paul briefly had a Self Help/Weight Loss show on NBC. While I didn’t really connect with all of his theories, a few of his concepts really hit me like a sledgehammer. His notion of “Just Do What You Can” instantly resonated with me and spoke to me in a way that no other Diet or Exercise program ever has. I’ve already chronicled my disdain for working out, so his take on exercise was right up my alley. In his program, Paul encouraged me to just go ahead and do what I can do. He also stressed that any physical activity is exercise. Instead of adopting a rigorous and daunting exercise regimen, why don’t you try this… If you took 400 steps during your day on Monday, can you take 405 steps on Tuesday? How about 500 steps by Friday? Can you do that? If you don’t like going to the gym, can you go out for a nice walk around the neighborhood? It was these subtle life changes that so appealed to me. This I could do. This wasn’t daunting and unattainable as other programs seemed to be. I decided right then and there that I would just do what I can do and see where it leads me.

I am by no means where I want to be and can hardly be considered a “Success Story” but I can say that I am over 40 pounds lighter this year than I was last year. I now walk an hour a day just around the neighborhood and I take my vitamins daily.  I have no weight loss goal hanging over me, I just do what I can do and try to live a balanced  and well rounded life.  What I find interesting is that I haven’t had to make any of those dramatic changes to my life I’ve been fearing for so long. That being said, I definitely eat much differently than I did a year ago. I attribute some of that change to Mr. McKenna, and some of it to a little bit of “Mad Scientist” tinkering of my own to come up with a program that I can actually stick with.

If you would indulge me, I am going to talk a little bit about my program and how I was able to get from there to here.  It all began by first changing the way I approach and think about Food. For that, I used Paul's 4 Rules for Eating.  I can recite these from memory even though I have never bought his book or attended his seminars.  I have 2 of his shows on my Tivo, and that’s about it. Well anyways, here are the Rules:

1. When You’re Hungry, Eat…

2. Eat What You Want.

3. When You Eat, Eat Consciously

4. At the First Sign of Being Full… Stop.

That’s it. Those are the Rules I have been living by for the past year and they have served me well enough. Again, I’m no poster boy for weight loss and life change. To be honest, I lost that 40 pounds in what amounts to 7 months, and for the last 5 months, I have just been battling to keep it off. However, most of my struggle was of my own making for getting away from the program that has brought me this far.  Sometimes bad habits die hard.

The “Mad Scientist” part of my program is admittedly kinda kooky, but it has worked very well for me up to this point. As a disclaimer, I must mention that I have designed this program for myself and myself only. I really can’t promise that any of these concepts will work for you. This is merely a telling of my story and my thoughts along the way…

One of the great realizations I have found about myself is that I love food… Stupid right? Yes of course, Kyle loves food and everyone who has ever met me knows that simple fact, but this revelation has really changed the way I approach food. Sometimes, when my love for food takes over, I overeat. I found out that when I am eating the foods I really enjoy, the alarm or signal your body sets off when you are full, either never gets sent or is summarily ignored by yours truly. Conversely, when I am eating food I don’t like or simply tolerate, the “Full Signal” comes in loud and clear. This notion was like one big giant light bulb for me. I call this the “Pringles Theory”. “I Bet You Can’t Eat Just One!” the TV screams. Well you’re right asshole, I can’t… I also can’t eat just one piece of Fried Chicken or one Bowl of Rice. I love and crave those things way too much. In my pure euphoria of eating those items, any sense of reason flies out the window and surely you can’t expect me to make a rational decision at that point. What I’ve learned from this is, in order to achieve my goals, I must eat foods I can tolerate, but not necessarily like all that much. When I do this and “Eat Consciously” I can actually hear my “Full Signal” when I eat. This tiny fact changed my life…

I guess I should explain “Eat Consciously”. This Rule basically means that when you are eating, that is the only thing you are doing. You are focusing on eating and nothing else. When you eat, think about eating your food, think about chewing, eat slowly and pay attention and listen for your “Full Signal”. When I am doing this, it’s amazing how little it takes to satiate me. Overeating is so often caused by distracted eating. That’s why eating while watching TV is the most evil of sins. You eat, but you are really paying attention to the TV, and not your food and definitely not your “Full Signal”. How can you expect to hear the alarm bells going off in your stomach when you are watching The Simpsons? The answer is simply… “You Can’t”.  When The Simpsons are over, you will look down and notice that your plate is empty and the whole Bucket of Kentucky Fried Goodness is gone too. The awful ending to that story hits you  when you don’t remember eating and you might even still be hungry. Who made us this way I want to know!

The next two things that have helped me on my way is a combination of Slim Fast and Atkins dieting.  This is where things get a little kooky, but it works for me so I will continue to do it. I drink a Slim Fast shake every morning and one directly before every meal. I kinda got the idea from my wife who one time wanted to pick up Del Taco on the way to a 4 star restaurant because she was “So Hungry”. The basic concept is that I will drink a Slim Fast before every meal in order to take the edge off my hunger. The shake also partially fills my stomach before I venture into the “Lion’s Den”. If I were to foolhardily walk into a restaurant completely famished, I would have already lost the battle. It’s a lose-lose situation. There is no conceivable way for me to eat a reasonable portion and walk away satisfied. By drinking a Slim Fast directly before dinner, I tame the “Wild Beast” of my hunger and I can walk into any restaurant calmly and under control. They say to never go grocery shopping hungry and this is basically the same concept. The funny side benefit here is that, by doing this, you actually get MORE enjoyment eating your food than if you were famished. When you are really hungry and eat quickly, you are swallowing more than appreciating and savoring your food. By taking the edge off my hunger, I actually get to taste my food, savor every bite, and enjoy it like a normal human being rather than the “Ravenous Beast” I have been in the past.

The next change to the way I eat is a weird one. My main staple of what I eat on an every day basis has been “Sandwich Meats”, primarily turkey. I do subscribe to the Atkins theory that most carbs are bad so I needed a protein option that could work for me and my new lifestyle. I first tried Turkey Burgers, but I found that I enjoyed the burgers too much and when I ate them, my “Full Signal” would always come in a little bit hazy. I eventually settled on Deli Style slices of turkey. I found that it was the perfect balance of “I like this enough to eat, but I don’t like this enough to overeat.” Sounds crazy, but it worked for me.

My last approach to food stems from the “Eat What You Want” concept. In this new way of thinking and eating, I rarely deprive myself from the foods I like and enjoy. I don’t see how I could ever survive a diet of just plain white meat chicken and broccoli for weeks on end. If I did that, I would turn into a craven mad man who is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I still eat fried chicken. I still go and eat out with family at whatever restaurant we so choose. However, instead of eating whatever I want whenever I want. I let myself eat what I want once a day and for the rest of the day, I would eat turkey slices or a protein bar. That way, I still get to enjoy life, enjoy the foods I love, and never have the hollow feeling that I’m missing out. But like I said earlier, before I walk into Sam Woo BBQ, I do guzzle down a Slim Fast first.

You know when I started writing this post, I never meant to end up here, but somehow it just did. My initial objective for this post was to review the Skechers Shape Up shoes I had bought a few days ago. Isn't that hilarious?  It’s interesting to me that I’m not really in complete control of what comes out of me when I’m writing. In many of the endeavors I take on, I like to treat each exercise (no pun intended) as a “Work of Art”. Sometimes the piece tells you what it wants to be rather than the other way around I guess…

So that's my philosophy on staying healthy and eating right. I know and understand that I will never really be a “Skinny” guy and that I’ll always have a little bit of love around my waist, but I’ve come a long way in accepting that “It’s OK”. I’m going to do what I can do and I’ll end up where I end up. You got a problem with that?  I didn’t think so… I’ve been told on several occasions that I care way too much about what other people think of me and I know inside how truly self conscious I am regarding my self image and my weight. I have never before shared my thoughts and feelings regarding these matters, and certainly not in a public forum such as this.  However, I feel like maybe I wrote this post for a reason. While embarrassing for me, I do accept that this is something I must go through. I welcome it as a part of my journey… 2010 is a new and exciting year for me. I’m doing things I’ve never done before and maybe by me “Coming Out”, I can finally move on to the new and wondrous things life has for me.  Thank you my friends… for reading and supporting me on my journey forward.