The Webster's Dictionary defines the word "Great" as something or someone who is remarkable or exceptionally outstanding. The dictionary also defines "Great" as someone who is highly significant or consequential. Yesterday, my father passed away... and as I look back, there is no doubt in my mind that my father was indeed a "Great" man.
We so often associate greatness with words like "Power" or "Fame", but my dad had neither of these things. Was he truly remarkable? Yes. Was he exceptionally outstanding? Yes. Was he highly significant and consequential to the people who loved him most? Most definitely, yes... But do accolades really make the man? Must I mention that he arrived into this country speaking not a lick of English, but ended up valedictorian of his class? Must I mention that he had his pick of colleges with full scholarships being handed out like candy bars? Should I even mention his service to this country or the important part he played in exploring the far reaches of space? I do not think I need to mention these things, most certainly not to his family, and not to his closest friends. Take away the awards, plaques, and distinctions that litter his office. My dad was highly significant and consequential to me... not as a man of distinction, but as the one person in my life who taught me right from wrong, who taught me how to be a man, and most importantly, how to be a father to my children.
Last night, we went through my dad's wallet. Hidden inside were the usual suspects, a Triple A Card, the ubiquitous Costco card and the like, but underneath it all were a dozen pictures of his grandchildren. These weren't pictures he kept as keepsakes, these were his calling cards. These wallet-sized snapshots of "his kids" were the cards he would pass out to anyone who would take them. People in business and certainly the Japanese know that you can tell a lot about a person from their business card. When you hand out your personal card, you are sharing with that person what best represents you... what you are most proud of. Instead of passing out cards that showed off his accolades or accomplishments, he handed out pictures of his grandkids... the one thing that he was most proud of. This sense of pride in one's family was thankfully and gratefully passed to me and also my brothers. This is a gift that knows no greater value. It is indeed priceless.
The term "Great" is overused and under appreciated. We live in a society where things like a burrito can be considered "Great". A new term is needed... As I reflect upon my dad's life and try to come up with an appropriate term to describe my dad's legacy, two words quickly come to me. Those two words are "Understated Excellence". This "Understated Excellence" means achieving great things without having to call attention to yourself. Striving for excellence, but always putting others first. I believe these two words describe my father's life beautifully...
As I raise Nash, McKenna and Evan to adulthood, I promise to not get caught up in their trophies, talents, or grades. Instead, I will teach them to love others and put others first. I will encourage my kids to achieve great things, but to always do so with a sense of grace and humility. Dad, these are the legacies you have entrusted to me. I will safeguard them and when the time is right, I will go out and continue your mission to plant seeds of "Greatness" in all of us...
This is such a fitting, intimate and honorable way to remember and speak of your dad. I hope you shared some of this when you spoke of him today. No doubt, this would be one of the most beloved tokens of affection a son could give his father - this sort of reflection and admiration. "Understated Excellence" - just two words in the English language, but juxtaposed, take on a new meaning, a phrase that really does mean much more. I just might have to borrow that someday. Thanks for sharing this, Kyle.
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